Dinner time…..

Can’t remember exactly how old Haley was – I’d say maybe 4 or 5

years old.  She was eating dinner, which included deviled eggs.  I

left the table for a few moments and when I returned, I noticed

that she had eaten the yolk-part of the deviled eggs but left the egg

white part untouched.  When I asked “What is this?” , she responded

in a matter-of-fact kind of way and said.  ‘Oh – I just ate the devil out

of it.’

 

ROFL!!!

MMM

 

I wanted to write a song but to date – I still can’t ‘hear it’….  In an

attempt not to lose the idea, I’ll jot down my train of thought

because I’m quite fond of the concept.  🙂

 

So many songs speak of forgotten loves, old loves or an otherwise

‘unfinished’ relationship…….and I thought it was kinda sad that I

don’t have such a relationship in my history to day-dream about.

As a general rule, when I break up with someone – that means that

I have tried to make things work and have depleted all the romantic

emotions that ever existed between us.  When I’m done – I’m simply

done.  So, how sad is that, I thought.  No ‘digging up bones’ for me, huh?

…….and then I remembered Stacy!   🙂  Oh, I thought he was my soul mate at one point.  🙂  Most definitively a kindred spirit, if not a soul mate!!

We accepted each other with all of our individual imperfections.  We could relate to each other long after others had stopped trying.  He brought out the poet in me, made me think and – just by being in my life – somehow made me challenge myself to do better, to be better at anything I touched…..  It was exhilarating, liberating and oh, so full of promise……but Stacy had one big problem that he couldn’t overcome…… I met him as a pen pal while he was incarcerated.  ….and intelligent as he may have been, Stacy refused to give up weed and over the next ten years that followed, he was arrested over and over and over again.  Never for anything more than possession……trying to flee a LEO……..resisting arrest…….violation of probation……all these problems – always due to weed.

I had to let him go.  Intelligent as he was – his life style was an insanity I wasn’t willing to experience with him……  Stacy and I never met face to face.    I still think of him with fondness and smile when I think back of the plateaus we conquered.  One after another – we climbed higher and higher – and even though we couldn’t harvest the seeds we planted – it wasn’t a waste of time.  Quite the opposite.  I’ve come to realize that – thanks to Stacy – I do have my very own triple M – my MEMORY for a MELANCHOLY MOOD!   🙂

If ever the mood should strike where I need to reminisce, where I want to dream along the lines of what could have been – I now consider myself very lucky to have my very own MMM.  Every person on the planet should have one!!   🙂  Someone you know you don’t want to rekindle anything with…..but maybe…..just maybe…..if the cookie had crumbled a different way…….I wonder……  MMM    🙂

A carrot, an egg and a cup of coffee…

This was too good of a life lesson not to pass on!

A carrot, an egg and a cup of coffee… You will

never look at a cup of coffee the same way again.
A young woman went to her mother and told her about
her life and how things were so hard for her. She did
not know how she was going to make it and wanted to
give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It
seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three
pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon
the pots came to boil. In the first she placed
carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the
last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit
and boil, without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners.
She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl.
She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl.
Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a
bowl.

Turning to her daughter, she asked, “Tell me, what do
you see?”

“Carrots, eggs, and coffee,” she replied. Her mother
brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots.
She did and noted that they were soft.

The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and
break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed
the hard boiled egg. Finally, the mother asked the
daughter to sip the coffee.

The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The
daughter then asked,”What does it mean, mother?”

Her mother explained that each of these objects had
faced the same adversity … boiling water.

Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong,
hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected
to the boiling water, it softened and became weak.

The egg had been fragile, Its thin outer shell had
protected its liquid interior, but after sitting
through the boiling water, its inside became hardened.

The ground coffeebeans were unique, however. After
they were in the boiling water, they had changed the
water.

Which are you?” she asked her daughter. “When
adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are
you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?”

Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems
strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and
become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but
changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but
after a death, a break-up, a financial hardship or
some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff?
Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I
bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened
heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually
changes the hot water, the very circumstance that
brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases
the fragrance and flavour. If you are like the bean,
when things are at their worst, you get better and
change the situation around you.

When the hour is the darkest and trials are their
greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level?
How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg
or a coffee bean?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Two Wolves

 

 

 

One evening an old Cherokee told his

grandson about a battle that goes on

inside people.   He said, “My son, the

battle is betweentwo “wolves” inside

us all. 


One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy,

sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance,

self-pity, guilt, resentment,

inferiority, lies, false pride,

superiority, and ego.


The other is Good. It is joy, peace,

lovehope, serenity, humility,

kindness, benevolence, empathy,

generosity, truth, compassion and

faith.”


The grandson thought about it for a

minute and then asked his grand-

father: “Which wolf wins?”

The old Cherokee simply replied:

“The one you feed.”

UNTITLED

Releasing my inner thug in a rap song I once

wrote.  Well, if it had a hook it would be a rap song,

so I’m not really sure what to call this….

It starts out to a female voice answering a ringing

telephone by saying:

911 Emergency, how can I help you?

I don’t know Ma’am if you can help me, you see
I’ve got this here emergency and it was created by just me.
Oh, my God I didn’t mean it! I’m telling you no lie!
….but in the aftermath of trouble, I see my life passing me by!

I know you’re really busy, so I’ll try and make this quick….
You see, I almost lost my soul mate and the thought just makes me sick.
….but this is not about me ‘cause my burdens I can bear.
This is about the one I love, the one I treated less than fair.

Ok – Hold one moment please.

What the fuck?  My mind is really racing and you want me to hold?
This man is really hurting, bitch!  How can you be so cold?
But why am I so mad at you when I caused all this pain?
Nu-uh, it ain’t going down like that!  What we built was not in vain!

I have to let him feel his pain and search his soul and heart
I know what we share is solid. Damn!  I knew it from the start!
But I fucked up!  Why was I blind and couldn’t see?
My God, I’m such an idiot!  This man, he means the world to me!

Thank you for holding.  You were saying?

Thank you Ma’am.  You really helped me a great deal!
I’ll take my time, show him my love and prove that I’m for real.
You see – what you don’t know is that he’s been hurt so much before
and here I go, just like the rest – I hurt him to the core.

If what we have is solid, just like I said it was,
he’ll know I didn’t mean to hurt him – out of spite or just because.
I’ll give him time to recognize and search his soul and heart
and if we make it through this mess, I know we’ll never part.

 

Copyright © May 2001

BALLAST POINT

 

 

I’m at Ballast Point.  A popular fishing pier, which is still pretty unpopulated early in the morning.  The pier itself holds no attraction for me but at the end of the parking lot are some concrete slabs, placed in such a fashion that they lead straight to the water.

That’s ‘my spot’.  J  I come here from time to time……to escape, to reflect, to enjoy…..  I was in a rather quiet mood today, just gazing out at the sight in front of me, when something struck me as interesting.  I’d like to share that with you.

Low tide.  Before me are the jagged edges of rocks, covered with barnacles.  Razor sharp edges are pointing in all directions.  Sand, which could offer relief to bare feet staggering through this maze of broken shells and even the occasional shard of discarded glass, is scarce.  What appears to be hundreds of unattractive crabs darting in and out of holes of various sizes, ominously snapping their large pinchers.

Remaining focused on that which is in front of me, a sense of ‘a treacherous journey ahead’ instantly comes to mind…….but as I lift my head to expand my horizon, a beautiful, calm picture is displayed.  Waves gently lapping against the occasional rock just a few feet in front of me.  Birds of all colors and sizes singing their beautiful songs as others swoop to the water, either in hope of landing a catch or just to wade in the cool liquid.  A little further yet, the waters are still calm and meet the sky in the far distance, where a beautiful display of light echoes the glory of the rising sun with every movement of the ocean.  The sight is breathtakingly beautiful.

…….and it reminds me of ‘life’.

As long as we keep our head bowed and our eyes focused on the hardships directly in front of us, they can have a tendency to appear overwhelming, impossible to master without sustaining great harm……  But if we take the greater picture into consideration, see the possibilities of where conquering the obstacle may lead us – the hardships appear miniscule for the benefits far outweigh the dangers or burdens…..

Maybe more people should take a few moments to sit at a pier every now and then.  J  Funny, how everyday things too many of us take for granted can serve as a poetic moment or bring enlightenment.  Of course I know the benefits of taking the ‘larger picture’ into view but never was it so evident or clear as it was this morning.

~~April 2001

QUOTES

To recognize, yet dismiss is self destruction

at it’s best.

~~~ELKE LEINWAND

 

 

What lies behind us and what lies before us are

tiny matters compared to what lies within us

~~~~RALPH WALDO EMERSON

 

 

If there is righteousness in the heart,

there will be beauty in the character.

If there be beauty in the character,

there will be harmony in the home.

If there is harmony in the home,

there will be order in the nation.

When there is order in the nation,

there will be peace in the world.

~~~SRI SATHYA SAI BABA, Philosopher

 

 

A reasonable man adapts himself to the world

around him.  An unreasonable man expects the

world to adapt to him.  Therefore, all progresss

is made by unreasonable men.

~~~GEORGE BERNARD SHAW

 

 

People are like stained glass windows.  They

sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when

the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed

only if there is a light from within.

~~~ELIZABETH KUEBLER-ROSS, Physician

 

 

To be brave is to behave bravely when your heart

is faint.  So you can be really brave, only when

you rally ain’t.

~~~PIET HEIN, Author

INK

 

 

I changed the ink cartridge of my calligraphy pen from black to blue and in an attempt to ‘flush out’ the black ink remaining in the pen, I started to write this…….kept it and just stumbled upon it again years later.  J

I’ve got to write til blue ink appears

That black may prevail is one of my fears

So I write nonsense, line after line

til blue ink flows from this pen of mine

Oh time, I beg of thee

How long before blue ink I see?

Feeling as though I should be medicated

Or maybe with mentally insufficients segregated

Surely I have better things to do

Than watching black ink slowly turn blue

Yet I continue my task – line after line

About as successful as braiding the hair of swine

I see them escaping – sanity and time

I better stop before hospitalized will be yours and thine

This color ain’t bad – light black or dark blue

If I don’t care – pray tell – why should you?

WONDER NOT

 

 

When you whirl with the conviction of a dervish,

wonder not when you realize that you’ve created a

gravitational field…..

When you speak with the beauty of warming sun rays,

wonder not when people wish to bask in your warmth.

When you omit a light so pure,

wonder not when people reflect that with which you lead.

Wonder not…….and behold what it feels like

when you live the way you dance!!

Copyright © June 2011

WOLF IN SHEEP’S CLOTHING

Most of us are sheep. We graze on luscious green grass, minding our own business, mingling in a flock of many while raising our young. We’re generally peace loving creatures that don’t hurt others and expect not to get hurt in return. We don’t expect to see a wolf, especially not in our midst. We know they’re out there but we don’t associate with them, don’t seek them out and have a natural instinct to run, run, run should one ever cross our path.

Sometimes though, we will come across a sheep that’s just a little too cheery, a little too charming and a little too helpful. Though you will be surprised at the level of said sheep’s friendliness, accustomed to only the nature of sheep, you will simply accept him as someone close to the most perfect sheep you’ve ever met.

Little do you know, that you have just made the acquaintance of a wolf in sheep’s clothing. A wolf will say all the right things, always has a word of encouragement, a friendly joke and keeps a smile on their face……..but beware. A wolf always serves his own cause, never has true or real compassion for others and always comes out on top. If a wolf approaches you with a friendly smile and warm embrace, rest assured that you either have something he ultimately wants or is using you as a means to get to that which he ultimately wants.

How, you ask, is a sheep to protect itself from this big, bad wolf? Are we to be suspicious of ALL sheep that cross our paths because one never knows for sure if we’re facing friend or foe?

Absolutely not! Just keep in mind that not all that glitters is gold and if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is and apply this age old wisdom to sheep that seem just a little too perfect. If you become paranoid and begin to view all sheep as a possible threat, you’ve handed a great deal of power to the wolf for you no longer are the carefree sheep you once were.

Maintain your carefree demeanor but be aware that sometimes, just sometimes, we do come across ewe, less peaceful than you.

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